21(st Century Romance) Guns – Green Day

Daniella puts on new Coldplay music, and tightens her ponytail. After being disturbed by her Twitter timeline, and making a ballsy Facebook move. She opens up WordPress. Inspiration has hit. 
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This is 21st Century Romance.
This is also the part about dates that makes me so nervous. 
Now a days we’re so used to sending emoji’s with kisses, rather than grabbing our loved ones by the face instead. 
Tapping a screen, isn’t passionate. 
I do succumb to this lifestyle, because I’m a Digital Native. 
I flirted through Msn throughout my entire childhood.
(I would purposely Sign In and Out to let my crush know that I was available for flirting.)
However around that time Apple was only on it’s 2nd Generation of iPod Shuffle…things were still very different from where they are now. 
I did receive my first flowers at 11 years old, rather than having him send me flowers through Farmville or even better Emoji’s.
I did endure the anxiety that came with using my house phone and taking the chances of having my parents overhear the conversation. Or even worse, having his parents pick up. 
Now, I see 11 year olds on the street with iPhone 5’s. Texting. Do you even know the alphabet at that age? Or long-division? How can you use an iPhone?
Okay, well I made a Laptop work again at the age of 8…
Generations must adapt along with technology itself, it’s the way of life which explains why the generation under mine is what I like to call
“the iLovers”
The one’s who prefer to ask someone to be their “boo, bae, papi “honey with one teaspoon of sugar” through text message, without having a lawyer present. 
Recently a friend of mine messaged me, “He just asked me to be his girlfriend through text?! wtf” At 19 years old, this woman didn’t even know how to respond to the message itself. 
In that moment I hoped he spelt out the full word itself…rather than writing “gf” with a wretched “:$” that’s supposed to be a “blushy face.” Last time I checked, my mouth doesn’t turn into a dollar sign when I get embarassed. 
The “iLovers”
The one’s who will ask a girl on a date through text message. 
Wanna go to Yorkdale”
The one’s who Facetime each other, rather than spending time together in person. 
Is your face like that or did your Internet freeze?”
Maybe it’s easier to romance through the online world at that age…I remember giving a boy a love letter in grade 7 with my HOME phone number on it, he was a bit confused because the letter was taken from my sister’s “Boys suck” notepad. Oops.

I also remember school dances being everything at that age. You’d hint to your friends of whom you wanted to dance with, and they’d make it happen. As “All My Life by KCi & Jojo” would start playing, he’d whisk you away to dance at arms length apart. 
LMFAO and Pitbull did not exist at that point, those were the good years.
As I got older, I started to realize how dependant we became on technology to help us romance someone. 
Technology became that friend, that would do all the talking as we sat there waiting patiently
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BBM “Msn Growing Up With You”

When Blackberry invented “BBM” everyone went into this excited panic mode due to the fact that it was our “Grown Up MSN”
We’d change our status, so they’d notice us.
We’d have people broadcast our pins so they’d notice us.
We’d slave over our BBM pic, just to get a response out of them.
And, when we’d get that message. We knew we did something right. 
BBM also set people up, couples began to form because of BBM.
“How did you two meet?” “Oh someone broadcasted his pin” 
Add up my boy Morgan Freeman no grenades, he can hold a conversation BACFYMCA1234″

“BBM bringing old friends back together”

I reunited with someone from my childhood, because of BBM. In that moment, if I had not added him because of a broadcast…a lot would be different. 
1. I probably wouldn’t have had a play
2. I wouldn’t have put out Youtube videos (self-written songs)
3. There’s a million things more I could write, but i’m doing my best not to be captain obvious. 
But all this and more happened, because I was given his pin. All of this happened, because of a series of letters and numbers.
I didn’t have to bump into him at a Grocery Store, with my Husband Bill at 31 years old. 

I think my disappointment comes from watching old movies. Huge cordless phones, typewriters, I know..how Hipster of me. 
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But it’s true. I’m obsessed with John Cusack standing outside Ione Skye’s window in “Say Anything” with a boom-box. Or Heath Ledger serenading Julia Stiles with “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” in “10 Things I Hate About You” 
Sue me. 

Using Other Artist’s Material To Get A Loved One’s Attention
Us Digital Natives use a song, and tweet it or message a link to that person to get our message across. 
Which involves listening to it, whilst looking up lyrics, and typing back a response. I have done it. 
I have used music to send someone a message. 
Because, I couldn’t find the words myself to say what I wanted to say. (That’s a John Mayer Lyric)
As soon as you tweet a song, that individual who loses sleep over you will by chance click it and look it up. 
Greatest “Get that person’s attention playlist”

  1. Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran
  2. Stay With Me – Sam Smith
  3. Home – The Magnetic Zeros
  4. Fall Into These Arms – New Politics
  5. I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver

A positive thing about 21st Century Romance is playlists
It went from boys or girls giving loved ones cassettes, or records. To cd’s of their favourite songs, or songs that tell that person simply that they love them. 
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Like “hey you should kiss me, because this playlist is telling you too”
Music is beautiful, the lyrics these artists come up with are their story, and they use it to connect with a much larger audience. This isn’t anything new. However, it’s altered over the years. Not so much where someone gives them an iPod, but a CD.

Online dating, the safe way: Tumblr Couple (real life situation)
Technology can bring two people together, whom live on different sides of the world.
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This summer, at a Playwriting class at UofT I met a wonderful soul with killer eyebrows named Julia, who met her boyfriend on Tumblr. At first they were friends for a few years, and when he came to visit her in Toronto they decided that they wanted to try and make it work. http://sighsob.tumblr.com/post/54036480117

Here’s Julia’s Story:
The pictures above are from my prom. The perfect person beside me, is my 2011 anon [http://sighsob.tumblr.com/post/9067363578], Nicholas. 

Nick and I met through tumblr, where he left me an anonymous message. After recieving his message, I urged him to come off anon and become my friend. Through some persuading, he did. We quickly learned we had so many things in common, from our tastes in books to our sense of humour. The only thing we didn’t have in common was our location.
Nick lived in Connecticut and I in Toronto. We remained close friends, dated other people, and tried our best to stay in contact through skype and tumblr. If we ever lost in touch, I could count on an anonymous message to be sent from him to me once again (my archive is littered with them). In winter 2012, Nick recieved news that his family would be travelling to Toronto.
It was on January 03 2013 that Nick and I first met. We grabbed coffee and ice skated, in permenant shock that each of us was real. Nick was standing next to me for the first time, and he was more than a bunch of pixels. It was clear during his time in Toronto that we liked each other, and our friendship developed into a relationship. Nick came to Toronto again in March where we spent one week together.
But, my prom was in June and we were certain he wouldn’t be able to come until August. Nick had gotten an internship for the months of June and July in Moscow, Russia. Prom had become out of the question. Two weeks before my prom, I recieved a skype message from Nick. It was a picture of his tickets. He surprised me by coming to my prom. Although distance is a current factor in our relationship, it’s one we have been able to overcome (and are still overcoming). I’ve never met a person like Nick before. He goes beyond being my boyfriend, he is my absolute best friend. While fate plays a big part in this, tumblr plays a bigger part. So thank you tumblr for connecting two people together. 

Julia first told me this story when we were walking down Spadina, I didn’t know her that well but I couldn’t believe that Tumblr Couple’s actually existed. Believe me when I tell you that, it’s almost a year that I’ve known Julia. It’s also another year that her and Nickolas have been together. 
You should also click the link, their prom photos just make this all the more perfect. 
Technology itself has given two individuals a chance at love, it’s one of the positive sides of 21st Century Romance. 
Facetime dates are an exception for two beings that can’t be face to face, but wish to be. 

It’s going down, I’m yelling TINDER
The word Tinder itself just gives me this overwhelming sense of ickyness. Tinder is the eHarmony for my generation. It connects you with other people in your area, and gives you the chance to connect with them ONLY if they have liked one of your photos. 
Basically you become interested in a being based on their appearance. 
It’s shallow enough to be a kiddy pool. 
Can people fall in love because of an app? I’ve heard one story
People who use Tinder, are looking to have a good time. 
It’s not one of those websites where they guarantee “Marriages within 3 years”

Twitter won’t solve your relationship problems
I get really impatient with the souls of twitter sometimes. 
I notice it a lot with the individuals younger than me, the ones in relationships. 
If your boyfriend isn’t texting you back. Chances are he’s not going to pay any attention to your tweets. 
I have even witnessed girls break up with their boyfriends over twitter.
My favourite is the one’s who tweet about how strong their relationship is, but an hour later fight with them on twitter. 
like “oh I’m pissed at u I’m gonna go tweet it” wow you got me with me your caps lock on. Ou, I’m going to need intense psychotherapy after that. 
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I don’t understand. You could,

  • Private message them
  • Email them
  • Send them a letter
  • Call them
  • Text them
  • Inbox them through Instagram
  • Show up to their house
  • My Space Them
  • Send them a Farmville request

Anything but exposing your relationship through social media. That’s the absolute last thing you should be doing. However, that’s what keeps 21st Century Romance going now a days. 
God forbid you tweet an angry Lionel Richie lyric. 
If you do, expect an angry tweet back….
Stick to making him your man crush monday every week. 

Facebook giving me a second chance. 
Recently I was making my Facebook privacy settings stronger, due to the face that Facebook is always changing therefore I must change with it.  I stumbled upon my Blocked list. There were many men whom had unpronounceable last names, and then there was one white, Canadian name. I had zero-recollection at first as to how he even got blocked. 
Who was this guy? Why did his name sound so familiar. 
So, I had to take it back to the journals. Finally, I had realized that I met him 3 years ago at The Ex. He was quite charming and according to the journals did captivate me. He was working one of the booths, and we exchanged numbers after attempting to sweet talk one another.
I sucked at the game, but still got the bear.
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I was stunned that he got blocked. The journal didn’t recall him being creepy. However, it was then that I realized that my 15 year old self may have done it over a boy. 

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Giant Face palm. I wouldn’t have dated 15-17 year old Daniella. 
You see, now that I think about it. It happened for a reason. 2010-11 was a horrendous year. 
Also, I’ve done a lot of growing up since then. So, I removed the blocking and friended him on Facebook. 
If you’re reading this Booth-boy, I apologize for that unnecessary unnecessary action of mine, however you got lucky and skipped out on the years I’m embarrassed to reflect on. 
However Ravj “Ladiesman” will have to remain in that blocked list.
As much as I hate to rely on technology, I had to use Facebook as a way to connect me to this individual. 
Facebook, it’s in your hands now”
I really don’t know how to explain myself, I’m an English major I know. 

Conclusion
I guess I’m pissed off, but I’m also kind of glad that technologies done so much for people. 
All these social media networks are meant to connect individuals. 
They do have their downfalls, and people do use and abuse them. 
But, it depends how you use it. 
The friend who got asked out by text message is actually quite happy with this guy, and let it slip just this once. However if one day she gets proposed to through text message, she might lose it. 
The friend with the Tumblr boyfriend changed her phone plan, and is face to face with her loved one as much as she can be thanks to Skype. 
As for me, I have this blog. I have my Instagram poetry. I have my playlists. 
That’s how (as a digital native) I must output my romance. 

Until next week, 
Daniella Beca 

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