Is hope really for suckers?

You know the “Pina Colada” song? by Rupert Holmes?
It’s a song that inspires hope about a lost relationship that could potentially be found again.
Songs have been written about it, and most movie plots are based around it.
Many beings have their own perceptions about it. Charlie Sheen thinks it’s for suckers, but most writers feel it keeps the story going.
Hope.
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Not that kind of hope..

At a young age we’re filled with so much of it.
We could live thousands of miles away from Disneyland but still hope that one day our parents could potentially pick us up from school and let us know we’re going to spend the entire day on roller coasters and binging on corn-dogs.

As we get older, the more experiences we go through, the more we start to lose hope.
We hope for text messages, phone-calls, any sort of electronic sign that leads us to believing in something.

We hope for romance as we indulge in the romantic-comedy section of Netflix, and then immediately get satisfied when Better Days by The GooGooDolls starts playing, and the rain starts pouring, and the protagonist gets kissed in the rain which leads us to believe that all her problems are instantly solved.

Examples
The Juliet and Mark Scene from Love Actually

The Final Scene in Pretty Woman

Juno’s Ode to Bleeker in Juno

I could potentially go on..but you get the point.
That’s when reality sets in.

“Ya right” as we grab the cheetos-powdered covered remote control and switch to the Weather Network.
Hope

There’s hopefuls, and there’s realists.
There’s hopeless romantics, and there’s people who claim to not have a romantic bone in their body…but yet see two individuals sharing headphones on a streetcar holding onto one another and long to feel something similar.

Why do people hide any sort of hopefulness?
Maybe because they see romance, and affection as a sign of weakness.
I did.
I used to play the whole “ew feelings”
jimmy-fallon-ew
I used to roll my eyes at PDA

But, I’d head home open a tub of Ben & Jerrys and recite John Hughes “Say Anything”
As soon I started writing about it, I started really writing about it.
The more honesty I’d put in my work the better.
Because you can’t lie in your writing.
The more vulnerable you are in your writing, the more your audience will relate to it.
The more your audience will trust it, and you.

Then there’s the notion of “if we don’t have hope, then we don’t have anything to look forward to”
That’s semi/true and semi/false.
Everyone’s always looking forward to their day at work to end, or their weekend to start
They hope for lunch-time, and they hope for Christmas.

Nobody hopes their root canal appointment comes sooner.

“Don’t get your hopes up”
That’s where it all goes wrong.
As soon as someone tells you that the notion of being hopeful is bad, you instantly think that you’re not going to get what you want.
Just because you want it so bad.
Who’s telling us that hope is so wrong? The media and the people around us.

What’s wrong with hoping for something?
Is it really so bad to hope that you’ll finally get what you want?
When did it become such a bad thing to say “I hope so”
giphy

“Yeah I really like him but I don’t want to get my hopes up”
That’s usually because past occurrences have led you to believe that there’s a possibility of getting let down again just for hoping for it.
If it’s going really well, maybe hoping for it isn’t so bad.
Maybe that’s how you know that you’re taking it seriously.
Shouldn’t hoping be flattering for the other person?
Unless you’re escape artist and have an immediate escape plan as soon as the other person develops real feelings for you.

A month ago, I said “I can’t write about him, because then it’s real.”
That’s my way of saying “I can’t get my hopes up writing about something that can’t potentially be real”
Thankfully I didn’t write about him, because it wasn’t as real as I thought it could potentially be in that moment.
I was hoping for someone else.
Someone I had previously hoped for before.

Until next week,
Daniella Beca

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