It’s 6:30am, Sunday morning, and I’m exhausted. But I’m sitting in front of the Lake, watching the Sunrise and I’m at peace with everything. 50-50 by The Strokes is echoing from my headphones. Now, I remember why I love Sunday morning’s so much.
I hope you’re all doing well, and that something wonderful happens to you this week, and that your skin gives you a break. Or you find money in an Old leather jacket. I hope you all get everything your heart desires this week.
I saw something recently, and it said “If you haven’t seen me in a year, I must re-introduce you to the person I am now, because we are not one in the same.”
As usual, it struck quite a chord. My mother last week said, “Wow. We’re just all in a very peaceful place. Carla is finally stepping into the right Career, and Claudia’s comfortable on the other side of the world, and you…you’re in an amazing place.”
She was referring to the 200 pages on my nightstand.
I let time slow down quite a bit these last couple of months, because if you’re going to take the ride…you might as well enjoy it. I’ve also realized that last May, I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown because I felt like I was supposed to have everything together, and adulthood was only a few weeks away.
I’m two weeks away from 20, and although the last year has been a brilliant one, I still have these moments where I’m unsure.
I don’t think anybody really knows, and if they say they do…they’re pathological liars.
I’m curious readers, I’d really like to know where you were last year? If you’re still in the same predicament, or if you’ve taken a different route.
You’re going to meet people, and they’re going to change your life before they change their own. Before you sit across from them at 1:00am, and sit in awe over their character growth, and their hair. You realize that they are not who they were last year, and that sits heavily in your chest because a year ago they had a different perception of you, and now as they’ve altered, so has their idea. Rather than resent that, you start to let things go, and experience the calm of a storm after a beautiful disaster. A natural disaster, because it’s what you get for trying to force something.
Your main focus, should be leaving these individuals better than you found them.
What were you searching for last year? Did you find it? Or are you still looking?
Did you find yourself at the bottom of a bottle, only to realize that the answer wasn’t stumbling drunk out of cab every weekend only to feel the same emptiness once you sober up.
Or did you find yourself looking out into the Sunset, in a foreign country promising yourself that the story doesn’t end just yet.
Have you become more comfortable with your body?
Did you stop trying to conform to the pre-set Kardashian formula laid out for you?
Did you fall in love this year?
If so, did you let it consume you, and inspire you?
Good, do it again.
Did you document the last year? It’s okay to reflect. It’s okay to photograph everything in the event that one may lose their memory. Did you pierce something? Did you permanently ink something onto your skin? Do you regret it?
Did you sing your favourite song out-loud at a Rock show? Did you turn around and look at the flashlights pointing towards the stage, only to close your eyes and listen amongst 1000’s of others?
Did you scream when people tried to silence you solely out of their own comfort?
I hope you did.
I also hope you do it all again, and more.
So that next May, you’re anxious for more May’s.
Because where you are now is not where you were last year,
You are here.
And here has been waiting for you.
Until next week.