Of learning how to walk, talk, do things on my own from burning toast, to burning my arm trying to curl the back of my head. Overcoming obstacles, even ones that were residing in my own mind. 20 years of talking about plans, then finally making it happen.
Of cutting my hair out of frustration. Questioning myself. Questioning other’s intentions. Developing healthy habits, and ridding myself of unhealthy ones. Knowing the difference between those who would rather be understood than loved.
Teaching myself self-love, practicing it on others. It’s so important that you teach your daughters, and younger siblings self love, for that when someone tries to bring them down, they’re unaffected. They’re indestructible. Thanking my parents for the weeks they’ve spent grounding me, teaching me to stay grounded.
Practicing my art. Looking forward to Mondays because those are the nights where I get to unzip my chest to the online world and let them explore the emotions that I refuse to hide for the comfort of others. Days I’ve counted down to something, only to reassure myself that the days leading up to the moment of anticipation are days to be cherished as well.
That I’ve lied awake over things that could have been fixed with a proper night’s rest. Hours that have been spent underneath my covers, when a full 24 hours lied ahead. Hours spent learning to define myself as who I am before someone else tries to.
Of learning to look at things with wonder. Even if it’s the same old sunset. Learning to say no without the notion of there being consequences. The Universe is filtering out negativity, and for that I am thankful.
Some of these seconds have been the most important ones. It took a second to say hello to people who have molded me into who I am today. Seconds spent front row at Rock Shows letting the pulse of the bass speakers suffice for my heartbeat.
20 feels like a blank slate. I’ve got another decade ahead of me, and I’ve started it off with a clearer mindset. Plans, plans to publish. Plans to feel everything. Plans to see the world. Starting with 5 weeks in Portugal, and New York in September.
20 weeks into the year I bought this domain.
20 weeks this year I spent standing on the edge of something, solely for the view. Unaware of my perennial fear of heights.
20 weeks of preparing myself for the worst, hoping for the best, but still plugging my ears waiting for the bang.
20 days ago I shot my first Magazine cover
20 minutes ago I realized Alex Turner had a new girlfriend and it wasn’t me? (oops?)
20 seconds ago I looked out the window, and realized that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, at 20.
I’m in awe and filled with wonder of how much has happened within these last two decades.
Here’s to a handful more.