How great does it feel to get to feel everything? However bruised or worn out we may feel, there’s a different type of sense per emotion/circumstance. I don’t think enough people take that for granted. I understand why, however the scariest thing is not feeling anything at all, or having it hit you all at once.
We live in a world where stepping off a plane gives us this feeling of relief. A 16 year old girl asked me a few days ago how I could possibly enjoy the notion of leaving a city of two million, and desire a few weeks in a town of less than 1000. Because after a few weeks of a town of less than 1000, I want nothing more than to be in an over populated city. It’s my home away from home.
But as I write this, I look up every once in awhile and basque in the glory of the view in front of me. I don’t have this in Toronto. I have quietness, and the new Tame Impala soundtrack. I have peace. I’m at peace.
People empty me. So I have to refill. Even if that means running to the other side of the world and ducking for cover until it’s all over and dealt with. That’s usually what happens, but that’s not the case this year. Instead of coming here, and forgetting all about my woes from the past year, I’ve come to feel everything, twice.
Cerva, is a beautiful town. Every night there’s a new Sunset. Just like a few individuals I know, it is beautiful on its own terms. It doesn’t shine so people can marvel at it. I look at everything differently this year, it’s as if my vision has gotten better, when in fact…it’s just getting worse. (Stabilize already!)
I’m very appreciative for this vacation. For the fact that my best friend got to experience it with me. For the lovely visit I got from Diana, and the cheeseburgers we consumed. I got to reunite with my sister after 5 months of separation, and got to know my other sister a bit better. I live for the moments where we’re all in the backseat, packed like sardines, and since I’m in the middle, I become their human pillow.
I’m ready to come home. I’m ready for fall. I’m ready to come home, and catch up on all my friend’s stories of growth. I hope August is a wonderful month for all of you. I hope you fell in love this Summer. I hope you found love within music at some sort of concert, or festival. I hope you fell more in love with yourselves and discovered new things about yourself that you didn’t even know this Summer.
Until I touch down in Toronto,