“Let’s go on this one” she said referring to this unsafe looking swing-set contraption. “I thought you were afraid of heights?” I asked, but she ignored it and walked forward. “Yeah, but I was also afraid of you at one point.” And that’s the way she goes.” – from a private collection of short stories.
Out loud prior to opening this browser, I said in a little tone of voice “I’ve got it” because this morning as I tried not to stare at the one fingernail shorter than the others, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to discuss today.
I ranted on Wednesday, because I was upset. However, I didn’t do anything about it. I mean the most I did was buy a new tube of eyeliner, and binge watch prime time TV whilst eating Chili with my partner-in-crime (aka Dad) and I questioned why people romanticize this feeling of sadness? It’s actually horrible. I know it’s a part of life, and not everything has a silver lining, but I refuse to make that a weekly occurrence. Pick your struggles, and don’t let them overwhelm you.
I may or may not have played this Adele song a good 450 times already, but it came at such a perfect time.
Because it’s never a bad time to make peace with yourself. The thing with this record, that’s so different about the other two is that she’s [Adele] doing what every person does after spending years brilliantly capitalizing off of a breakup record, capitalize off of a make up record.
I had this thought when I was in Portugal, that if indeed my pieces of art were only as good as my broken heart, what would be next? Last night, I was on the phone with one of my good friends, and she listened to me read my old pieces. Some were so playfully innocent and I couldn’t help but feel this sense of accomplishment that comes with comparisons and growth. I had yet to really experience a lot then and I had so much fun with my words.
As I was making Pancakes for Renee on Friday, she played Adele’s song and watched me slowly crumble whilst avoiding Bacon-Juice burn. It came at the right time, because I spent the Summer making up with myself. Read that last part again, because you’ll get why I need to say this.
I feel like this line in this week’s post wasn’t explained properly, I didn’t like how I left it.
“How can we romanticize the notion of being an object to someone, and finally stop settling for something we wouldn’t want our daughters/sons to ever go through? How do we decide that it’s enough, and close the damn book.”
– It wasn’t so much as romanticizing, but taking what you’re given. Because it’s the only thing you’re given and you’re holding onto it. We think of our younger selves, and future spawn (lol) which is unfair, because we need to think of it as an experience to teach them. These situations seem so easy to deal with through writing, but when you’re actually in the situation where you tell yourself not to text back, or text back coldly, you don’t end up doing it. Because you’re human. That’s the only explanation for it.
Once you make up with yourself, you’ll be able to forgive the other person and move forward. Bitterness makes us age, and it’s such a burden to carry with you.
A person breaking your heart, isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you.
It was probably the best thing in terms of growth, and who you become afterwards.
Concept: looking at every heartbreak as a silver living–
–lone ranger riding through an open spaaaaccceeeeee (I couldn’t resist) (points if you finish the lyric to @daniellabeca on twitter)
But I’m sitting here, with a task. With an audience. (WITH ALL OF YOU, HOW ARE WE IN THE 15,500s GUYS I’M SUCH A DORK IRL? BUT A DORK WITH A BLOG)
With some sort of twisted wisdom that resonated with individuals whom are now my closest friends.
With a healthy mindset, because I promise you this Wednesday will be different.
I’ll leave you with that, now go listen to Love Lost (the acoustic version) by Temper Trap, and enjoy your Sunday evening. Keep yourselves in mind this week.
Copyright © 2015 Daniella Beca MyCompositionNotebook