5 Years

“It’s all about the first person you want to tell good news to”


Bathroom stall writing can be vulnerable or humorous. Especially bars and clubs that’s our safe haven from the rest of the evening itself. This weekend I stood behind the stall doors, and spam texted my friend a pros and cons list due to my impaired decision making, but it gave me a moment of relief from being overwhelmed.

One of the stalls said, “I wish I met you in 5 years time.” I wanted to go home, write this, but instead I had to save it in my notes for the cab ride home. Almost instantly remembering the time one of my friends called me hopeless, pacing back and forth and ending the phone call with “I’ll meet her in 5 years time, and we’ll try again. I know that’s what will happen. We haven’t had our epilogue yet.”

Are there individuals that could be as patient as he is. I mean I’ve learned a lot about the concept and notion of waiting in the last year or so, but how could someone foresee 5 years down the road and hold onto that?

But it got me thinking, and as much as I’d love to start with my jumbled iPhone note poetry, I’ll save that for my closing statement.

Now it’s not just these romantic comedies that give us this idea, and stir the hopeless pot, but I’ve seen it happen. Sometimes right in front of me in line at a Cafe. However, what if you only met them for the first time, 5 years down the road? Would the chemistry be exactly the same? Would the fact that you matured more affect the idea you sought out primarily for one another. What if one of you was barely getting by when you first met and you did everything you can to help them grow and that’s what your relationship or connection thrived off of. The security in 3am calls, and how wonderful it was to have such a private*** individual to yourself. What if that was lost?

**Privacy: the only way I can get away with writing half the stuff I do. And I plan on keeping it that way.

What if this was a lesson in the form of a 6ft tall man? How does one moment in time depict whom you’re meant to be, and illustrate this life ahead of you because of it. Is someone up there holding a pencil and sketching out the future, and when do they suddenly start erasing and retracing their steps. Would that explain why a person walks in and out of your life, or sits there with their arms in the air questioning where they should go from there.

“I don’t think he really knows what to do?”
“I never gave him instructions, or a sheet of paper that says “this is what it should look like. I came into this with zero expectations.”

Yes, you both have the love for rock and roll in common, and maybe you won’t be so quick to resort to the fun and games that we as fluorescent adolescents cherish, but the mature connection could be what holds it all together. Or the new mindsets and ideologies could complicate things. However, you need to remind yourself that you were not as confident, and you only really experimented with this level of comfort because of that.

I have a friend that wakes up every morning with the same notion everyday to fight for what she wants, and it doesn’t happen with a Smiths song, and a flash mob. She has sat patiently since last year, and I think it’s falling back into place for her.

They say you’re complicating things for yourself if you wait, and you’re stubborn if you leave. But they never offer you an in between. They never tell you that you’re human for just going about your day, establishing connections with individuals that can potentially become something more, in hopes that you’ll find it again but you’ll find yourself in the process.That has to be enough. It should be enough. Maybe when you’re outside in the rain, while your friends are dancing inside, and a man comes up to you asking you if you’ve got a lighter, holding a sign in the palm of his hand, you don’t know if it’s all going to make sense one day.

So I will leave you with that, and my cab poetry that makes zero absolutely ZERO sense. But enjoy anyways.

Some days it’s easier, it’s reckless almost
But then I remember that you’re a city in the form of a 6ft tall body and soul
Maybe it’s not so easy because we look for comfortable silence,
but then speak so we avoid the longing for that feeling.
It’s like confusing “affect” and “effect”
Affect is the action
Effect is the end result
Some temporary souls try to affect you in the moment
Others effect you with out even budging or moving an inch
You keep me safe, and I keep you wild
So just let it happen
Let it happen

Until next time,

Copyright © 2015 Daniella Beca MyCompositionNotebook


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