I’m so happy you’re still here. Teaching me to laugh at my own humour, mask the real topics with animated images, and most importantly find peace. There’s many like you out there, some devoted to different causes, and some that offer a hand to those looking for something specific. I wasn’t looking for anything specific. I was just looking for something to offer to the world, something to continue what I started in 2013.
When I wrote a play at 17, I told myself that rather than hiding Demi Lovato’s Unbroken album and wishing I wrote “Give Your Heart A Break” why wouldn’t I just take matters into my own hands and really tell stories, my stories, to hundreds of people that watched it. I don’t look for merit, I don’t look for a good job. I put on a play once a week and let you know what’s been haunting/troubling/inspiring me this week.
The last 4 four posts leading up to March 23rd last year illustrated such a breakthrough in terms of character. February 2014, I sat on a stool in my favourite coffee shop and Googled “How to start a blog?” On February 2015, I sat in the Journalism lounge at school and questioned how it’s already been a year. February 2016, and there is no longer a fear that comes with freedom of speech.
There’s still a lot I don’t understand. There’s still some questions that show up in bold letters right in front of me when I’m not looking for them, or simply avoiding them. You think to yourself, how did I not see that coming when you were unconsciously expecting it the entire time. But I was not expecting this. I did not expect to find comfort in such a public place, where I can still hold onto such privacy.
February 2015 feels like yesterday, sometimes it feels as if it’s February 2015 again but, there are many moments to which I wished I would have said something different or refrained, let go of the grip a little bit. But what a fool you can become so quickly to someone who plays the right chords.
The best thing that came out of 2014, and 2015 was a voice. A certain type of creativity that stemmed from curiosity. People often belittled my curiosity, and determination. I’m still very certain that everything I did, said, or professed was necessary. I won’t go back on that. And if that’s supposed to inspire a certain type of resentment towards muse(s) then it’s not really the purest form of art.
I wrote something last week, and this was my favourite line; Darling you are alive, and maybe after awhile we get tired of sitting in the same position for such a long time but what a privilege it is to adjust so well to a throne of almosts & sometimes. By alive, I mean existing in the same time and era. Maybe we shouldn’t rely on leaving envelopes in nostalgic cafe’s. Maybe we should just deliver the damn envelopes ourselves.
Something I wish I knew last February.
I will never stop learning, I will never stop writing , and I will never stop pressing the keys and saying the things I hope to one day remember to say in moments of silence. I will never forget to always remind you the importance of rebellion. And I will be eternally grateful that even if it was momentarily my blog was opened on your computer screen, and that countries I can’t even pronounce have found me. That you’ve found me. That you’re reading this. That you’re responsible for getting me to sit in front of my computer at the end of the week and tell you what I’ve learned, or what I need to learn more about.
Shall we go for another two years? It’s a date.